Mommy Meltdown

Being a mom is hard. I know what any mom who is reading this is thinking: Duh. But that statement has been at the forefront of my mind lately. There have been many times in the past month where I've been close to a complete "Mommy meltdown." 

Being a mom is hard for so many reasons and for each mom, I think those reasons are different. For me, one huge reason is that I worry. Yes, I know, as mother’s we all worry. My worry comes from when she is not with me and how the two very different ways that she is being raised are going to affect her through her life. I don’t know what goes on when she’s with her dad and I realize that I’ll only know what she tells me, which only makes the worrying worse, but I do know that there is a huge difference in our parenting styles. It’s obvious to anyone who spends a lot of time with Peyton that she comes back from weekends with her dad a different kid.

Which makes me worry about the inevitably difficult teen years and the day she says, “I want to live with my dad.” Because I can already tell that dad’s house is going to be the house where anything goes and mom’s house is going to be the one filled with discipline and rules. And while I know that I’m doing the right thing, it’s not easy. It would be much easier to just cave in, but I don’t and because of that, I often times feel like I’m not such a great mom.

I would guess that most parents, moms especially, sometimes feel like they could be a better parent. I feel that on a daily basis, especially in terms of patience. I’m not a patient person, as I’ve mentioned before, and I know that I especially lose my patience with my daughter. I have to remind myself that she’s only 4 and in a situation and life that she is still trying to figure out.

I know there’s a long road ahead of me and there are going to be a million more reasons for me to worry as she gets older, but I also know that it’s completely worth it. I have an amazing kid, such a special little girl, and no matter how hard it is, I know that I’m blessed to have her in my life and I will do whatever it takes to give her the best life that I can. And that life doesn’t mean buying her whatever she wants or letting her always have her way. That life is about loving her as much as I can and teaching her everything she needs to know to be the best person that she can be.

Thankfully, I have the most amazing support system with my family. I don’t know what I would do without them and beyond that, what Peyton would do without them. They are all such wonderful role models for her to have in her life. So, as much as I worry about how things are going to turn out for her down the road, I know, deep down in my heart, that with all the love that surrounds her, she is going to be more than fine. Now if I could just learn a little bit more about patience… :)

SMC chics rule!

This past weekend was my ten-year reunion from college. As we drove down the tree-lined road that leads to Saint Mary’s campus, The Avenue as we call it, it was hard for me to believe that I graduated ten years ago since it seems like just yesterday I was checking into McCandless Hall freshmen year, begging my parents not to leave me there. Four years later, I was begging them not to make me leave.

I would imagine that most people loved college. And I was definitely in that majority. I made lifelong friends that I would do anything for whether I see them once a month or once every five years. If they called me and needed something, I’d do it in a heartbeat. And I believe they’d do the same for me because being a SMC chic is something that bonds us for life.

I was reminded of this bond as we sat at our banquet Saturday night, a dinner that we were whining about going to, remembering it only as a boring night of speeches. I had completely forgotten what made it so special the first time we had been there. The room was full of amazing women, women who had inspired me when I attended school there, women who inspired me five years ago and women who inspire me today.

For example, the class of 1961, celebrating their 50^th reunion, had 18 members of their class there. When they were introduced, they stood up, waving their napkins in the air and all I could think of was how I hoped that was going to be us in 40 years. It was this sense of unity, community and love of Saint Mary’s that made me remember just what I loved and love still about Saint Mary’s.

Saint Mary’s taught me to believe in myself. I had professors that helped me find my strengths and encouraged me to take those talents and make a career out of them. Even though I’m still working on part of my life, I know that they were right and while I didn’t pick the easiest to define career path, I’m still plugging away at it, hearing the echoes of their encouragement as I write.

Saint Mary’s taught me that it’s important to look beyond myself at the greater world and how important it is to be altruistic.

Saint Mary’s taught me just how awesome it is to be a woman. A strong woman with her own beliefs, her own talents, her own voice.

The Avenue always leads you home.

That’s what our reunion T-shirt said on the back and it could not be truer. Saint Mary’s is home for me, a second home that I love coming back to. A home that I sometimes forget, until I’m there, just how important it is to me and the person I’ve become.

Pop Culture Obsessions

On long car trips, I love to play a game where we hear a song and you have to guess who sings it. Playing this with my dad, he’s unstoppable at the 60s and 70s. After this weekend, I realize that I am pretty awesome at the 80s until now. Chris and I played this game while we were driving around and I, not so humbly, kicked his rear. I’ve always known that I’ve had a ton of useless information in my head, wondering if there was ever a good use for it. Apparently there is: Impressing my fiancée! Other than that, my pop culture obsessions really don’t do me or anyone else much good. Unless of course you are going on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and need a lifeline!

So, I thought I’d share some of my favorite pop culture obsessions of the moment and my thoughts on them.

MOVIES

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen 2 really stellar movies: Bridesmaids and The Hangover 2. I love to laugh and a good comedy is my favorite kind of movie. You can’t lose with either one and I guarantee that these are two movies that get funnier every time you watch them. Kristin Wiig and Zach Galifianakis are genius. I’m still laughing about Alan being a “stay-at-home-son.” Comedy gold.

There are so many movies I’m dying to see this summer: the final Harry Potter, Crazy Stupid Love, The Help, Super 8, The Change-Up, One Day and Horrible Bosses. It’s going to be a great summer for movies!

MUSIC

Right now I’m currently obsessed with Adele. For one, her music is soul stirring and beautiful. Secondly, my daughter knows the words to her songs and listening to her sing “Turning Tables” and “Rolling in the Deep” is beyond cute.

The new Beastie Boys record is of course awesome. They’ve been my favorite since I heard “You’ve Got To Fight For Your Right” back in second grade and to this day, they never fail to excite me.

And Britney, good ole Britney Spears is on the top of my playlist. Her new CD is great and I’m going to see her in concert in July so I’ve got a lot of new songs to learn (and dance too!)

TV

Summer is definitely not the best time for TV, as most of my favorites are on hiatus, but I find that there’s still some great shows for me to DVR. The Voice, which feeds my music obsession as I’ve been downloading lots of songs from the show (namely Javier Colon’s version of “Time After Time”) I love the judges. They are so entertaining and actually provide good advice. And the singers blow anyone from American Idol out of the water. If you haven’t watched it yet, give it a try. The live competition starts next week!

I also love any version of the Real Housewives. Currently, New York, New Jersey and Orange County are all airing and I can’t get enough! These women are crazy and watching them makes me realize just how normal I am. Because sometimes, frankly, I wonder. But, they put it in perspective for me!

Say Yes To The Dress and Four Weddings on TLC never fail to entertain me. I love seeing the dresses that people choose and how catty some of the people they bring along are. It never fails to surprise me when someone tells a bride she looks fat or ugly and they would never be caught dead in that dress. It’s ridiculous. Who says that to a bride? No one I know! And Four Weddings is a whole other story. It’s basically turning a wedding into a competition. Forget that you are pledging yourself to another person. It’s really all about whether you have good food or the best centerpieces so you can get a higher score! Stupid but entertaining!

And of course, I’m waiting for my summer shows to begin, including Big Brother, Psych, and Royal Pains. I need something to watch during naptime when I should be cleaning!

BOOKS

Here are a few books that I’ve read recently that I love that would be great summer reads for anyone!

 1.     

      The Hunger Games trilogy. Brilliant. I loved the Twilight series, but this trilogy blows it out of the water.

2.     

One Day by David Nicholls. The best love story that I have ever read and my second favorite book of all time. Also coming out as a movie later this summer.

3.     The newest Sookie Stackhouse book by Charlaine Harris. If you haven’t read any of this series, start now! The True Blood show is based on them and they are terrifically entertaining!

4.     Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me. Hilarious, as all of her books are! If you want a good, trashy laugh, this ones for you!

I realize that I could go on writing about everything I love in TV, movies, books and music, but it’s a beautiful day. So, I’m going to head outside, lay in the sun and get back to reading A Visit from The Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. Enjoy my list and tell me if you have any suggestions for me! I’d hate to be missing out on something good!