The Value of Friendship

My freshmen year of high school, I was starting over with a clean slate. I had attended public school up until then and was beginning high school at a private, Catholic school where I knew no one and everyone else seemed to know each other, having gone to school together since kindergarten. This was a little daunting at first, not knowing a soul and everyone else already buddies, but it didn’t take much time before I’d made awesome friends. Friends that I still talk to today and some that I don’t – or haven’t in a really long time. Today though, I spent some time with one of those awesome friends - one that I haven’t seen in over ten years - and it made me think about the value of friendship.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that friendship is one of the things that I value and treasure most in the world. I try to be the best possible friend that I can be. I don’t always succeed, but I try, because friends to me are one of the most important things in life.

They say that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I think that sometimes it’s a little bit more complicated than that, but I definitely think there is something to that saying. As we get older, we change, whether we want to admit that or not. And sometimes our friends change with us and our friendships become stronger because of it. And sometimes we change and our friends don’t and people start to grow apart, not on purpose or by choice, but because that’s the way life is.

There are many moments in my life that I would love to freeze and live in forever, moments that I loved mostly because of my friends and where we were at that time in our lives. But obviously it’s not possible. Just like it’s not possible to choose how our friendships are going to evolve over time. I’ve had friendships that I thought would last forever – that we would always be in each other’s lives – and while some have, others haven’t. It’s taken me until recently to realize that it’s not my fault or their fault necessarily. It’s life’s fault. Life happens and changes us and sets us on different courses.

What’s great is that sometimes those courses veer off in different directions for a long time and then converge again later on down the road. Seeing my friend today made me think of this and the saying about a reason, a season and a lifetime. I don’t think you can ever know if a friendship is going to fall into one of these categories and I don’t think you should try to figure it out. Then you’d be missing out on the joy that each friendship brings.

The moral of the story: Go give your friends a hug and tell them you love them! 

And to all my friends out there: Thanks for bearing with me all these years and loving me for me! You know I love you all!

Another new start...

In an effort to keep my life as far from boring as possible, I have begun a new business venture as an independent consultant for Rodan + Fields, the doctors who created Proactiv. I’m beyond excited but also extremely nervous. I never imagined that I would be doing anything like this in my life but I am absolutely loving the challenge that I’ve given myself. I now have the opportunity to take control of my future instead of waiting for someone to finally call me and give me an interview, let alone a job!

I was very hesitant to start something like this because I often times doubt my abilities. But, I saw this as an opportunity not only for me to make some money, but to show myself that I am much more capable of accomplishing things then I give myself credit for. And most importantly, I am responsible for my own success. What I put into this new venture is what I will get out of it and there is no one else that I’m accountable to other than myself. Which makes it both scary and empowering all at the same time.

As many of you know, I have been looking for an opportunity in the non-profit field since getting my Master’s in Non-Profit management, but with how wonderfully the economy is doing in Michigan, my career options have not been exactly plentiful. Oh, who am I kidding? They’ve been non-existent. Now though, I feel that I’m getting to use my love for helping other people into my career by helping people to feel better about themselves and how they look through improving their skin.

While this may not seem to some as valid as say, helping feed the homeless, for me, it is an important service. Personally, I’ve gone through in my life of feeling a lack of confidence because of how I look. So, whenever you can help someone feel better about themselves and more comfortable in their skin, I think you’ve done a really wonderful thing. My thoughts about nonprofit have always been that if I can just get out there and help one person, I’ll be happy. And I feel the same way about this new endeavor, only I hope that I can help more people feel as good about themselves as I feel about myself now.

Mommy Meltdown

Being a mom is hard. I know what any mom who is reading this is thinking: Duh. But that statement has been at the forefront of my mind lately. There have been many times in the past month where I've been close to a complete "Mommy meltdown." 

Being a mom is hard for so many reasons and for each mom, I think those reasons are different. For me, one huge reason is that I worry. Yes, I know, as mother’s we all worry. My worry comes from when she is not with me and how the two very different ways that she is being raised are going to affect her through her life. I don’t know what goes on when she’s with her dad and I realize that I’ll only know what she tells me, which only makes the worrying worse, but I do know that there is a huge difference in our parenting styles. It’s obvious to anyone who spends a lot of time with Peyton that she comes back from weekends with her dad a different kid.

Which makes me worry about the inevitably difficult teen years and the day she says, “I want to live with my dad.” Because I can already tell that dad’s house is going to be the house where anything goes and mom’s house is going to be the one filled with discipline and rules. And while I know that I’m doing the right thing, it’s not easy. It would be much easier to just cave in, but I don’t and because of that, I often times feel like I’m not such a great mom.

I would guess that most parents, moms especially, sometimes feel like they could be a better parent. I feel that on a daily basis, especially in terms of patience. I’m not a patient person, as I’ve mentioned before, and I know that I especially lose my patience with my daughter. I have to remind myself that she’s only 4 and in a situation and life that she is still trying to figure out.

I know there’s a long road ahead of me and there are going to be a million more reasons for me to worry as she gets older, but I also know that it’s completely worth it. I have an amazing kid, such a special little girl, and no matter how hard it is, I know that I’m blessed to have her in my life and I will do whatever it takes to give her the best life that I can. And that life doesn’t mean buying her whatever she wants or letting her always have her way. That life is about loving her as much as I can and teaching her everything she needs to know to be the best person that she can be.

Thankfully, I have the most amazing support system with my family. I don’t know what I would do without them and beyond that, what Peyton would do without them. They are all such wonderful role models for her to have in her life. So, as much as I worry about how things are going to turn out for her down the road, I know, deep down in my heart, that with all the love that surrounds her, she is going to be more than fine. Now if I could just learn a little bit more about patience… :)

SMC chics rule!

This past weekend was my ten-year reunion from college. As we drove down the tree-lined road that leads to Saint Mary’s campus, The Avenue as we call it, it was hard for me to believe that I graduated ten years ago since it seems like just yesterday I was checking into McCandless Hall freshmen year, begging my parents not to leave me there. Four years later, I was begging them not to make me leave.

I would imagine that most people loved college. And I was definitely in that majority. I made lifelong friends that I would do anything for whether I see them once a month or once every five years. If they called me and needed something, I’d do it in a heartbeat. And I believe they’d do the same for me because being a SMC chic is something that bonds us for life.

I was reminded of this bond as we sat at our banquet Saturday night, a dinner that we were whining about going to, remembering it only as a boring night of speeches. I had completely forgotten what made it so special the first time we had been there. The room was full of amazing women, women who had inspired me when I attended school there, women who inspired me five years ago and women who inspire me today.

For example, the class of 1961, celebrating their 50^th reunion, had 18 members of their class there. When they were introduced, they stood up, waving their napkins in the air and all I could think of was how I hoped that was going to be us in 40 years. It was this sense of unity, community and love of Saint Mary’s that made me remember just what I loved and love still about Saint Mary’s.

Saint Mary’s taught me to believe in myself. I had professors that helped me find my strengths and encouraged me to take those talents and make a career out of them. Even though I’m still working on part of my life, I know that they were right and while I didn’t pick the easiest to define career path, I’m still plugging away at it, hearing the echoes of their encouragement as I write.

Saint Mary’s taught me that it’s important to look beyond myself at the greater world and how important it is to be altruistic.

Saint Mary’s taught me just how awesome it is to be a woman. A strong woman with her own beliefs, her own talents, her own voice.

The Avenue always leads you home.

That’s what our reunion T-shirt said on the back and it could not be truer. Saint Mary’s is home for me, a second home that I love coming back to. A home that I sometimes forget, until I’m there, just how important it is to me and the person I’ve become.

Pop Culture Obsessions

On long car trips, I love to play a game where we hear a song and you have to guess who sings it. Playing this with my dad, he’s unstoppable at the 60s and 70s. After this weekend, I realize that I am pretty awesome at the 80s until now. Chris and I played this game while we were driving around and I, not so humbly, kicked his rear. I’ve always known that I’ve had a ton of useless information in my head, wondering if there was ever a good use for it. Apparently there is: Impressing my fiancée! Other than that, my pop culture obsessions really don’t do me or anyone else much good. Unless of course you are going on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and need a lifeline!

So, I thought I’d share some of my favorite pop culture obsessions of the moment and my thoughts on them.

MOVIES

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen 2 really stellar movies: Bridesmaids and The Hangover 2. I love to laugh and a good comedy is my favorite kind of movie. You can’t lose with either one and I guarantee that these are two movies that get funnier every time you watch them. Kristin Wiig and Zach Galifianakis are genius. I’m still laughing about Alan being a “stay-at-home-son.” Comedy gold.

There are so many movies I’m dying to see this summer: the final Harry Potter, Crazy Stupid Love, The Help, Super 8, The Change-Up, One Day and Horrible Bosses. It’s going to be a great summer for movies!

MUSIC

Right now I’m currently obsessed with Adele. For one, her music is soul stirring and beautiful. Secondly, my daughter knows the words to her songs and listening to her sing “Turning Tables” and “Rolling in the Deep” is beyond cute.

The new Beastie Boys record is of course awesome. They’ve been my favorite since I heard “You’ve Got To Fight For Your Right” back in second grade and to this day, they never fail to excite me.

And Britney, good ole Britney Spears is on the top of my playlist. Her new CD is great and I’m going to see her in concert in July so I’ve got a lot of new songs to learn (and dance too!)

TV

Summer is definitely not the best time for TV, as most of my favorites are on hiatus, but I find that there’s still some great shows for me to DVR. The Voice, which feeds my music obsession as I’ve been downloading lots of songs from the show (namely Javier Colon’s version of “Time After Time”) I love the judges. They are so entertaining and actually provide good advice. And the singers blow anyone from American Idol out of the water. If you haven’t watched it yet, give it a try. The live competition starts next week!

I also love any version of the Real Housewives. Currently, New York, New Jersey and Orange County are all airing and I can’t get enough! These women are crazy and watching them makes me realize just how normal I am. Because sometimes, frankly, I wonder. But, they put it in perspective for me!

Say Yes To The Dress and Four Weddings on TLC never fail to entertain me. I love seeing the dresses that people choose and how catty some of the people they bring along are. It never fails to surprise me when someone tells a bride she looks fat or ugly and they would never be caught dead in that dress. It’s ridiculous. Who says that to a bride? No one I know! And Four Weddings is a whole other story. It’s basically turning a wedding into a competition. Forget that you are pledging yourself to another person. It’s really all about whether you have good food or the best centerpieces so you can get a higher score! Stupid but entertaining!

And of course, I’m waiting for my summer shows to begin, including Big Brother, Psych, and Royal Pains. I need something to watch during naptime when I should be cleaning!

BOOKS

Here are a few books that I’ve read recently that I love that would be great summer reads for anyone!

 1.     

      The Hunger Games trilogy. Brilliant. I loved the Twilight series, but this trilogy blows it out of the water.

2.     

One Day by David Nicholls. The best love story that I have ever read and my second favorite book of all time. Also coming out as a movie later this summer.

3.     The newest Sookie Stackhouse book by Charlaine Harris. If you haven’t read any of this series, start now! The True Blood show is based on them and they are terrifically entertaining!

4.     Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me. Hilarious, as all of her books are! If you want a good, trashy laugh, this ones for you!

I realize that I could go on writing about everything I love in TV, movies, books and music, but it’s a beautiful day. So, I’m going to head outside, lay in the sun and get back to reading A Visit from The Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. Enjoy my list and tell me if you have any suggestions for me! I’d hate to be missing out on something good!

Meet the Knauss'

Most people probably meet their significant other’s parents much sooner in a relationship then after they get engaged. But, so it goes when you are in a long distance relationship. And I would guess that most people are nervous about this first meeting, hoping that the two sides hit it off. Because anyone who says that it doesn’t matter if you get along with your in-laws is crazy. It’s important and totally does matter. If there is one thing that I have learned from my previous marriage, it’s that.

My previous in-laws did not like me much from day one, whatever their reasons may be. I wish I knew because I bent over backward to change that. But it didn’t. And when I think about why they probably didn’t like me, there was nothing I could have done to change it. We were just too different in our values. This does not matter at all now of course but it does make me realize how much better a relationship is when you like your partner’s family and they like you.

From the minute that I met Chris’ family, they have been beyond welcoming to me. I was definitely more nervous for them to meet me than I was for them to meet my parents. I was very concerned about what they would think about a newly divorced, single mom dating their son and brother. If they had a problem with it, they sure never let me know. I felt instantly comfortable with them. They really made me feel like part of the family from day one. I absolutely love them!

So, as we all sat around together this past weekend, that’s what I thought about.  How important family is. How much I love my family. How much I love the new family that I’m becoming a part of. How when two people get married, two families are joining together, whether they like it or not. And luckily for me, in my case, it’s the former.

I think that’s part of the reason that I wasn’t nervous for everyone to meet. I know that I have the best parents in the entire world and knowing them, I knew that they would like my future in-laws as much as I do and vice versa. My happiness that I get to spend the rest of my life with Chris is now magnified by the fact that we both have amazing families that like each other. So, when it comes to splitting time at the holidays and going on vacations and doing the things that families do, I find so much peace in knowing that Chris and I will always be happy in who we do those things with because we will be with people we enjoy being with and love.  

Disney is the most magical place on earth!

I just got back from the most wonderful vacation to Disney World with my family and thought I’d share some of my thoughts on the trip that may help those of you who may plan a trip there in the future!

1. Disney is definitely the most magical place on earth. I don’t care how old or young you are, it’s magical.

2. Fastpasses are one of the best inventions ever. For those of you who haven’t been to Disney in awhile, they now have something that lets you cut in line! You go to a Fastpass kiosk, get a ticket with a time on it and during that time, you get to come back and go to the front of the line. And believe me, this comes in handy for some of the rides, like Toy Story Mania, that attracts huge crowds. Who wants to wait in line with a four year old for an hour? Not me, that’s for sure! Fastpass it!

3. Travel with as many adults as possible, preferably four or five per child. I advise this for anyone that has kids that loves Disney characters. There are lines all over every park where you can meet these characters and get their autographs. My father quickly came up with the plan of having the adults split up into the different lines and then just pass Peyton from adult to adult. It worked brilliantly! We didn’t have to wait forever in those crazy lines and we kept Peyton happy!

4. Bibbity Boppity Boo is a bippity boppity Noo! These little girls that were supposed to come out looking like little princesses looked more like teenage girls trying to sneak into a club with crazy hair extensions, body glitter and far too much makeup. Scary.

5. Some rides are totally worth a long wait in line. Those rides would include: Toy Story Mania, Space Mountain, Expedition Everest and Splash Mountain. Rides not included in that category would be: Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan. The two latter rides always seemed to have 45 minutes waits and for the life of me, I can’t understand why.

6. Apparently the phrase “excuse me,” means something different to different people you will meet while in the Magic Kingdom. I say this because after very politely saying, “excuse me”, I got verbally accosted. Once by a man who told me that I could wait for his wife to fix her hair because I would wait 20 minutes in line for a ride so I should be able to wait for his wife. Uh, ok. Then I said that seemingly innocuous phrase to another woman who then screamed it back at me. Apparently just pushing past people may be the more polite thing to do.

7. Again, Disney is the most magical place on earth! But I have to say, going with my parents, sister, brother-in-law and daughter was really what made it such a magical trip! They made it perfect and gave me memories that I will treasure always.