Giving Thanks...a bit early!

So I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on Facebook about things that people are thankful for, as we get closer to that wonderful holiday we all know as Thanksgiving. I’ve noticed that most of the stores that I’ve been in this week have completely skipped this holiday and headed straight for the flashier one that comes next month.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas as much as the next person, but I love Thanksgiving just as much because it involves two of my favorite things: Food and family. So, I’m going to jump on the bandwagon and share some of the things that I’m thankful for this month, which as you’ll soon find out, consists mainly of food and family!

I feel I need to point out that these are in no particular order, lest someone be offended that you aren’t first on the list! :)

1. I’m thankful for the little kids in my life.

I’m blessed to have an amazing daughter that makes me laugh at the ideas that come into that little four-year-old head of hers, which also scares me sometimes too. She’s so smart and I see a lot of trouble in my future, but I’m so thankful I was blessed with such a great kid.

And then there’s my new nephew. He’s really put what is important in life in perspective for me. And given me baby fever at the same time. I could literally sit and hold him all day long. He’s beyond precious and his aunt can’t wait to spoil him! I'm grateful for every minute I get to spend making that little boy smile. 

Speaking of nephews (and nieces), I’m gaining five new ones with my upcoming marriage that I feel so lucky to have in my life. I enjoy my time with them so much and hope the novelty of their new aunt doesn’t wear off anytime soon! They are such special kids to me.

2. I’m thankful for my fiancée. I honestly don’t know what I would do without him. He’s truly a special person and he really proved that to me the other day when he told me that he loves me even when I’m in my “crabby” mood. And let’s just say, “crabby” was no the word that was used and his word really is a better description. Those of you who know me, know what that means! He truly loves me for the good and the bad. I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I’m thankful every day that I somehow snatched him up!

3. I’m thankful for my parents. Anyone who knows them knows how awesome they are. They are two of the greatest people that I have ever known and if I can be half the parent that they are, I will think myself successful. I know that no matter what, they are there for me. Having a support system like is such a blessing. I honestly don’t ever think I’ll be able to thank them enough for what they do for my daughter and me.

4. I'm thankful for my family. From my grandma, my aunts and uncles, my cousins and my soon to be in-laws, I have the best family in the world. Every moment that I get to spend with any of them is usually so much fun, I know that if we weren't family, these are people that I would want as my friends. They are all so awesome.

5. I’m thankful for my friends. I truly believe that I have the best friends in the world. I hope everyone feels that way because having a good friend makes all the difference. You need people in your life that you feel that you can count on and I truly feel that I have far more than I deserve. New or old, I’m truly blessed for every friend I have in my life.

6. I’m thankful for my job. I didn’t know what to expect when I started out on this new business venture, but I didn’t expect to be where I am today. I love what I’m doing and it still gives me time with my daughter. There is no bigger blessing then that.

7. I’m thankful for food. Not in the way that you may think, though. I love to eat and eat really tasty things. As of this Thanksgiving, I’ll have been a vegetarian for 2 years, a change in my lifestyle that I’m very proud of. I did a lot of reading and education myself in making that decision and I still continue to do so.

I’m currently reading a book that has again changed my viewpoint on food and what we eat. It’s a book about eating local and eating in season, including fruits, vegetables and meat. Taking some advice from this book, I chose to buy eggs today that were not only cage free, but pasture-raised, which is a huge difference. I love to keep hardboiled eggs around the house for a snack and I had one today. Not only is the difference in the name, it’s in the taste. They were the best eggs I have ever had. I’m thankful there are now becoming more options for eating great food in ways that are not harmful to animals or our environment, which essentially affects us all. So think about that when you’re preparing that Thanksgiving dinner! :)

And most of all, I’m thankful for every day I get to spend on this earth with the people that I love. I’m trying to slow down and enjoy each day for what it is and I plan on continuing to be thankful for every blessing in my life. And I fully plan on enjoying all that this holiday has to offer: Food and family and hopefully lots of it.

Time Flies...

When they say that time flies, they aren’t joking. It doesn’t even feel like September started, let alone is already over! A week didn’t go by in the month of September where I was home. Between trips to South Bend, Cleveland, South Bend again, Pittsburgh and Cleveland again, I was a busy girl! I’ve been able to spend time with some of my most favorite people and create more unbelievable memories.

The best memory of all though came on September 29. My little nephew, Anderson Edward Wood, came bursting onto the scene, a 6 week early surprise just like his auntie! I’ve been dying to meet him since the day I learned that my sister was pregnant and the day my sister went into labor I had told my grandmother, “I just can’t wait to meet this baby!”

Well, I got my wish and he certainly hasn’t disappointed. It was definitely an exciting day. My parents were in Vegas when we got the news that my sister was in labor and my mom luckily was able to catch a red eye home. I picked her up from the airport, we rushed to the hospital and four hours later, we stood in the hallway, looking at the newest addition to the family through a window.

And, as cliché as it sounds, I was hit by what a miracle life really is. This little boy, laying there, grasping his dad’s hand on one side, his grandma’s on the other, was inside my sister’s belly only an hour before. All I could think was, here is this perfect little boy that we had all been waiting to meet for so long and now here he is.

The next thing that hit me was that my baby sister is now a mom. Crazy. And in the week that little Anderson has spent on this earth, he’s already one of the luckiest little boys in the world because he’s got two awesome parents. I’m blown away at how well the two of them have handled every situation that’s been thrown at them. My little sister is not just my little sister anymore. She’s a mom and an amazing one at that.

And don’t get me started on my brother-in-law. There aren’t many people who can make me laugh as hard as he does and I always knew he’d be a good dad, but he’s beyond that. I’ve always loved the way that he’s loved and protected my sister and I can see how that is going to translate into his role as a father.

He’s one lucky boy to have them as parents. But we are all luckier and more blessed to have him in our lives.

I can’t wait until the day I can hold him for the first time. I can’t wait until the day he comes home. I can’t wait until the day he says his cool aunt Tricia’s name for the first time. I can’t wait to get to know what a cool little kid he’s going to be. Of course, with how fast time is moving around here, I shouldn’t have to wait long for any of those things.

My daughter, my teacher

Peyton and I just got back from a fantastic vacation in the Outer Banks with Chris and his family. It was so great to spend time with my future in laws, getting to know them better and them getting to know me better. And being at the beach sure didn’t hurt! My only complaint: the getting there and the getting home.

It took 4 hours to go 90 miles on the day that we arrived. The stress from the drive was quickly wiped away when we finally got to the house and I didn’t think about it until the night before I had to make my drive back to the airport. I hadn’t been worried about bad traffic trying to get off the Outer Banks and onto the mainland on a Thursday afternoon, but Hurricane Irene changed that. So, with the urging of my wonderful fiancée, Peyton and I left for the airport at 7 am for a 4:15 flight, just in case people were starting to evacuate.

They weren’t. So, Peyton and I arrived at the airport at 9 with 7 hours ahead of us. We killed some time touring around Norfolk, going to a movie and having lunch, getting back to the airport 2 hours before our flight took off only to find out our flight was now delayed until 6. Long story short, we finally boarded at 6:15 pm, landing in Detroit around 8, 13 hours after our day began.

Now, the point to my long explanation of my unfortunate travel issues is that I learned some valuable lessons that day that I hope will not only make me a better person, but more importantly a better mother. Despite all of the waiting and driving and waiting and flying and waiting, my amazing daughter did not voice one single complaint all day. Not once did she whine about why it was taking so long or why we weren’t leaving yet or why she wasn’t home already. Her mother, on the hand, complained a whole lot.

Several other people waiting for the flight as well commented on how impressed they were with her, as she sat in her chair quietly, playing with her toys, completely content. I have been proud of her at many moments in her life, but maybe none more so than this day. She was absolutely amazing and it made me reevaluate my thinking.

I learned that as a mother, I need to cut her a little slack sometimes. I can so easily get caught up in the few things she does wrong instead of appreciating all of the wonderful things that she does right. From now on, I’m going to try my best to focus on those things and remember them when I get angry about something that she has done.

I learned that I need to give my incredible little girl a whole lot more credit. I complained and whined that day because I was worried that she was going to break down at any moment and a huge fit would ensue. I realize now that this is a kid who has been through a lot this last year and has handled it all so gracefully that she can manage a couple of hours waiting in an airport.

I learned that I just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love her anymore than I already do, my heart finds a way to expand and fill up even more with pride, adoration and love.

I learned that I am so proud of her and who she is becoming. She truly is an amazing little girl and I wonder how I was lucky enough to be blessed with such an awesome little kid.

And most importantly, I learned that it’s not only me that’s going to be teaching her throughout her life. She’s going to be teaching me as well. 

The trick to love...

As we were going through all the boxes in my basement storage, I came across a piece of paper I had saved with a picture of a dog on it that had torn up a bunch of toilet paper and looking very remorseful. I’m imagining that I saved it because it reminded me of my parent’s dogs, Gipper and Ty, who have chewed up their fair share of bathroom tissue.

But, at the bottom of the page is a quote, a quote that really got me thinking. It says, “It’s not trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.” I’m sure when I read this at the time, I thought of those dogs too. I mean, they’ve eaten everything from sewing needles to cherished photographs to money. Now, when I read that quote, I think about me and my life and how true that statement really is.

I will be the first to admit that I am a difficult person. I have mellowed a bit over the years, but I am more than willing to say that I’m not the most patient person. I can be quick tempered. I like things my way. And when I’m mad and things aren’t going my way, watch out!

Now, this is not to say that I don’t think there are positive things about me. I’m well aware of my good points as well, but I also know that sometimes those negatives can wipe the positives out of someone’s memory through my ridiculous behavior. And that’s what got me thinking about how you really know if someone loves you. Because it’s true. If someone loves you even through the bad times, they must really love you.

I think back to what I put my parents through as a teenager and they must have really loved me to not have kicked me out at 18 and say “see ya later!” Yes, they are my parents and of course they love me, but you didn’t have to live with me during those lovely formative years.

I think about my sister and how horrible I treated her growing up and now she’s my best friend. She really had to love me to deal with the nonsense that I threw her way. That poor girl dealt with way too much drama for way too long. And yes, it’s another example with a family member, but I know many families who don’t speak to each other for far less than the things that I have done.

There are many friends of mine who’ve gone through a lot with me as well and as I get older and our lives get more complicated, I can tell pretty easily who is going to be there and love me no matter how ugly and complicated my life gets.

Now, I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about me – it’s not like I was the worst human being in the world. But, I wasn’t entirely happy with myself and that just leads to negative behavior. And until recently, I had spent a lot of time being unhappy and it led to that bad behavior again. You know what they say – misery loves company. That all changed when I decided to make the change that I needed to and now I couldn’t be happier.

And a large part of that happiness comes from the wonderful person that I’ve found to share my life with. He is truly a person that loves me even at my worst. He’s seen the worst that I have to offer and he has stuck around. And I think I can probably say I’ve seen the worst of him as well and it only makes me appreciate our relationship more. When you see someone in their least favorable light and find your love not only still there, but maybe even stronger, that’s something special.

I’ll be hanging this paper on my fridge to remind me everyday of how lucky I am to have that kind of love in my life in so many shapes and sizes. Maybe I should make a copy for my parents too - for the next time those dogs eat something else they shouldn’t. That’ll probably be tomorrow. You’ve got to love those dogs!

The Value of Friendship

My freshmen year of high school, I was starting over with a clean slate. I had attended public school up until then and was beginning high school at a private, Catholic school where I knew no one and everyone else seemed to know each other, having gone to school together since kindergarten. This was a little daunting at first, not knowing a soul and everyone else already buddies, but it didn’t take much time before I’d made awesome friends. Friends that I still talk to today and some that I don’t – or haven’t in a really long time. Today though, I spent some time with one of those awesome friends - one that I haven’t seen in over ten years - and it made me think about the value of friendship.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that friendship is one of the things that I value and treasure most in the world. I try to be the best possible friend that I can be. I don’t always succeed, but I try, because friends to me are one of the most important things in life.

They say that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I think that sometimes it’s a little bit more complicated than that, but I definitely think there is something to that saying. As we get older, we change, whether we want to admit that or not. And sometimes our friends change with us and our friendships become stronger because of it. And sometimes we change and our friends don’t and people start to grow apart, not on purpose or by choice, but because that’s the way life is.

There are many moments in my life that I would love to freeze and live in forever, moments that I loved mostly because of my friends and where we were at that time in our lives. But obviously it’s not possible. Just like it’s not possible to choose how our friendships are going to evolve over time. I’ve had friendships that I thought would last forever – that we would always be in each other’s lives – and while some have, others haven’t. It’s taken me until recently to realize that it’s not my fault or their fault necessarily. It’s life’s fault. Life happens and changes us and sets us on different courses.

What’s great is that sometimes those courses veer off in different directions for a long time and then converge again later on down the road. Seeing my friend today made me think of this and the saying about a reason, a season and a lifetime. I don’t think you can ever know if a friendship is going to fall into one of these categories and I don’t think you should try to figure it out. Then you’d be missing out on the joy that each friendship brings.

The moral of the story: Go give your friends a hug and tell them you love them! 

And to all my friends out there: Thanks for bearing with me all these years and loving me for me! You know I love you all!

Another new start...

In an effort to keep my life as far from boring as possible, I have begun a new business venture as an independent consultant for Rodan + Fields, the doctors who created Proactiv. I’m beyond excited but also extremely nervous. I never imagined that I would be doing anything like this in my life but I am absolutely loving the challenge that I’ve given myself. I now have the opportunity to take control of my future instead of waiting for someone to finally call me and give me an interview, let alone a job!

I was very hesitant to start something like this because I often times doubt my abilities. But, I saw this as an opportunity not only for me to make some money, but to show myself that I am much more capable of accomplishing things then I give myself credit for. And most importantly, I am responsible for my own success. What I put into this new venture is what I will get out of it and there is no one else that I’m accountable to other than myself. Which makes it both scary and empowering all at the same time.

As many of you know, I have been looking for an opportunity in the non-profit field since getting my Master’s in Non-Profit management, but with how wonderfully the economy is doing in Michigan, my career options have not been exactly plentiful. Oh, who am I kidding? They’ve been non-existent. Now though, I feel that I’m getting to use my love for helping other people into my career by helping people to feel better about themselves and how they look through improving their skin.

While this may not seem to some as valid as say, helping feed the homeless, for me, it is an important service. Personally, I’ve gone through in my life of feeling a lack of confidence because of how I look. So, whenever you can help someone feel better about themselves and more comfortable in their skin, I think you’ve done a really wonderful thing. My thoughts about nonprofit have always been that if I can just get out there and help one person, I’ll be happy. And I feel the same way about this new endeavor, only I hope that I can help more people feel as good about themselves as I feel about myself now.

Mommy Meltdown

Being a mom is hard. I know what any mom who is reading this is thinking: Duh. But that statement has been at the forefront of my mind lately. There have been many times in the past month where I've been close to a complete "Mommy meltdown." 

Being a mom is hard for so many reasons and for each mom, I think those reasons are different. For me, one huge reason is that I worry. Yes, I know, as mother’s we all worry. My worry comes from when she is not with me and how the two very different ways that she is being raised are going to affect her through her life. I don’t know what goes on when she’s with her dad and I realize that I’ll only know what she tells me, which only makes the worrying worse, but I do know that there is a huge difference in our parenting styles. It’s obvious to anyone who spends a lot of time with Peyton that she comes back from weekends with her dad a different kid.

Which makes me worry about the inevitably difficult teen years and the day she says, “I want to live with my dad.” Because I can already tell that dad’s house is going to be the house where anything goes and mom’s house is going to be the one filled with discipline and rules. And while I know that I’m doing the right thing, it’s not easy. It would be much easier to just cave in, but I don’t and because of that, I often times feel like I’m not such a great mom.

I would guess that most parents, moms especially, sometimes feel like they could be a better parent. I feel that on a daily basis, especially in terms of patience. I’m not a patient person, as I’ve mentioned before, and I know that I especially lose my patience with my daughter. I have to remind myself that she’s only 4 and in a situation and life that she is still trying to figure out.

I know there’s a long road ahead of me and there are going to be a million more reasons for me to worry as she gets older, but I also know that it’s completely worth it. I have an amazing kid, such a special little girl, and no matter how hard it is, I know that I’m blessed to have her in my life and I will do whatever it takes to give her the best life that I can. And that life doesn’t mean buying her whatever she wants or letting her always have her way. That life is about loving her as much as I can and teaching her everything she needs to know to be the best person that she can be.

Thankfully, I have the most amazing support system with my family. I don’t know what I would do without them and beyond that, what Peyton would do without them. They are all such wonderful role models for her to have in her life. So, as much as I worry about how things are going to turn out for her down the road, I know, deep down in my heart, that with all the love that surrounds her, she is going to be more than fine. Now if I could just learn a little bit more about patience… :)

SMC chics rule!

This past weekend was my ten-year reunion from college. As we drove down the tree-lined road that leads to Saint Mary’s campus, The Avenue as we call it, it was hard for me to believe that I graduated ten years ago since it seems like just yesterday I was checking into McCandless Hall freshmen year, begging my parents not to leave me there. Four years later, I was begging them not to make me leave.

I would imagine that most people loved college. And I was definitely in that majority. I made lifelong friends that I would do anything for whether I see them once a month or once every five years. If they called me and needed something, I’d do it in a heartbeat. And I believe they’d do the same for me because being a SMC chic is something that bonds us for life.

I was reminded of this bond as we sat at our banquet Saturday night, a dinner that we were whining about going to, remembering it only as a boring night of speeches. I had completely forgotten what made it so special the first time we had been there. The room was full of amazing women, women who had inspired me when I attended school there, women who inspired me five years ago and women who inspire me today.

For example, the class of 1961, celebrating their 50^th reunion, had 18 members of their class there. When they were introduced, they stood up, waving their napkins in the air and all I could think of was how I hoped that was going to be us in 40 years. It was this sense of unity, community and love of Saint Mary’s that made me remember just what I loved and love still about Saint Mary’s.

Saint Mary’s taught me to believe in myself. I had professors that helped me find my strengths and encouraged me to take those talents and make a career out of them. Even though I’m still working on part of my life, I know that they were right and while I didn’t pick the easiest to define career path, I’m still plugging away at it, hearing the echoes of their encouragement as I write.

Saint Mary’s taught me that it’s important to look beyond myself at the greater world and how important it is to be altruistic.

Saint Mary’s taught me just how awesome it is to be a woman. A strong woman with her own beliefs, her own talents, her own voice.

The Avenue always leads you home.

That’s what our reunion T-shirt said on the back and it could not be truer. Saint Mary’s is home for me, a second home that I love coming back to. A home that I sometimes forget, until I’m there, just how important it is to me and the person I’ve become.

Pop Culture Obsessions

On long car trips, I love to play a game where we hear a song and you have to guess who sings it. Playing this with my dad, he’s unstoppable at the 60s and 70s. After this weekend, I realize that I am pretty awesome at the 80s until now. Chris and I played this game while we were driving around and I, not so humbly, kicked his rear. I’ve always known that I’ve had a ton of useless information in my head, wondering if there was ever a good use for it. Apparently there is: Impressing my fiancée! Other than that, my pop culture obsessions really don’t do me or anyone else much good. Unless of course you are going on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and need a lifeline!

So, I thought I’d share some of my favorite pop culture obsessions of the moment and my thoughts on them.

MOVIES

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen 2 really stellar movies: Bridesmaids and The Hangover 2. I love to laugh and a good comedy is my favorite kind of movie. You can’t lose with either one and I guarantee that these are two movies that get funnier every time you watch them. Kristin Wiig and Zach Galifianakis are genius. I’m still laughing about Alan being a “stay-at-home-son.” Comedy gold.

There are so many movies I’m dying to see this summer: the final Harry Potter, Crazy Stupid Love, The Help, Super 8, The Change-Up, One Day and Horrible Bosses. It’s going to be a great summer for movies!

MUSIC

Right now I’m currently obsessed with Adele. For one, her music is soul stirring and beautiful. Secondly, my daughter knows the words to her songs and listening to her sing “Turning Tables” and “Rolling in the Deep” is beyond cute.

The new Beastie Boys record is of course awesome. They’ve been my favorite since I heard “You’ve Got To Fight For Your Right” back in second grade and to this day, they never fail to excite me.

And Britney, good ole Britney Spears is on the top of my playlist. Her new CD is great and I’m going to see her in concert in July so I’ve got a lot of new songs to learn (and dance too!)

TV

Summer is definitely not the best time for TV, as most of my favorites are on hiatus, but I find that there’s still some great shows for me to DVR. The Voice, which feeds my music obsession as I’ve been downloading lots of songs from the show (namely Javier Colon’s version of “Time After Time”) I love the judges. They are so entertaining and actually provide good advice. And the singers blow anyone from American Idol out of the water. If you haven’t watched it yet, give it a try. The live competition starts next week!

I also love any version of the Real Housewives. Currently, New York, New Jersey and Orange County are all airing and I can’t get enough! These women are crazy and watching them makes me realize just how normal I am. Because sometimes, frankly, I wonder. But, they put it in perspective for me!

Say Yes To The Dress and Four Weddings on TLC never fail to entertain me. I love seeing the dresses that people choose and how catty some of the people they bring along are. It never fails to surprise me when someone tells a bride she looks fat or ugly and they would never be caught dead in that dress. It’s ridiculous. Who says that to a bride? No one I know! And Four Weddings is a whole other story. It’s basically turning a wedding into a competition. Forget that you are pledging yourself to another person. It’s really all about whether you have good food or the best centerpieces so you can get a higher score! Stupid but entertaining!

And of course, I’m waiting for my summer shows to begin, including Big Brother, Psych, and Royal Pains. I need something to watch during naptime when I should be cleaning!

BOOKS

Here are a few books that I’ve read recently that I love that would be great summer reads for anyone!

 1.     

      The Hunger Games trilogy. Brilliant. I loved the Twilight series, but this trilogy blows it out of the water.

2.     

One Day by David Nicholls. The best love story that I have ever read and my second favorite book of all time. Also coming out as a movie later this summer.

3.     The newest Sookie Stackhouse book by Charlaine Harris. If you haven’t read any of this series, start now! The True Blood show is based on them and they are terrifically entertaining!

4.     Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me. Hilarious, as all of her books are! If you want a good, trashy laugh, this ones for you!

I realize that I could go on writing about everything I love in TV, movies, books and music, but it’s a beautiful day. So, I’m going to head outside, lay in the sun and get back to reading A Visit from The Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. Enjoy my list and tell me if you have any suggestions for me! I’d hate to be missing out on something good!

Meet the Knauss'

Most people probably meet their significant other’s parents much sooner in a relationship then after they get engaged. But, so it goes when you are in a long distance relationship. And I would guess that most people are nervous about this first meeting, hoping that the two sides hit it off. Because anyone who says that it doesn’t matter if you get along with your in-laws is crazy. It’s important and totally does matter. If there is one thing that I have learned from my previous marriage, it’s that.

My previous in-laws did not like me much from day one, whatever their reasons may be. I wish I knew because I bent over backward to change that. But it didn’t. And when I think about why they probably didn’t like me, there was nothing I could have done to change it. We were just too different in our values. This does not matter at all now of course but it does make me realize how much better a relationship is when you like your partner’s family and they like you.

From the minute that I met Chris’ family, they have been beyond welcoming to me. I was definitely more nervous for them to meet me than I was for them to meet my parents. I was very concerned about what they would think about a newly divorced, single mom dating their son and brother. If they had a problem with it, they sure never let me know. I felt instantly comfortable with them. They really made me feel like part of the family from day one. I absolutely love them!

So, as we all sat around together this past weekend, that’s what I thought about.  How important family is. How much I love my family. How much I love the new family that I’m becoming a part of. How when two people get married, two families are joining together, whether they like it or not. And luckily for me, in my case, it’s the former.

I think that’s part of the reason that I wasn’t nervous for everyone to meet. I know that I have the best parents in the entire world and knowing them, I knew that they would like my future in-laws as much as I do and vice versa. My happiness that I get to spend the rest of my life with Chris is now magnified by the fact that we both have amazing families that like each other. So, when it comes to splitting time at the holidays and going on vacations and doing the things that families do, I find so much peace in knowing that Chris and I will always be happy in who we do those things with because we will be with people we enjoy being with and love.  

Disney is the most magical place on earth!

I just got back from the most wonderful vacation to Disney World with my family and thought I’d share some of my thoughts on the trip that may help those of you who may plan a trip there in the future!

1. Disney is definitely the most magical place on earth. I don’t care how old or young you are, it’s magical.

2. Fastpasses are one of the best inventions ever. For those of you who haven’t been to Disney in awhile, they now have something that lets you cut in line! You go to a Fastpass kiosk, get a ticket with a time on it and during that time, you get to come back and go to the front of the line. And believe me, this comes in handy for some of the rides, like Toy Story Mania, that attracts huge crowds. Who wants to wait in line with a four year old for an hour? Not me, that’s for sure! Fastpass it!

3. Travel with as many adults as possible, preferably four or five per child. I advise this for anyone that has kids that loves Disney characters. There are lines all over every park where you can meet these characters and get their autographs. My father quickly came up with the plan of having the adults split up into the different lines and then just pass Peyton from adult to adult. It worked brilliantly! We didn’t have to wait forever in those crazy lines and we kept Peyton happy!

4. Bibbity Boppity Boo is a bippity boppity Noo! These little girls that were supposed to come out looking like little princesses looked more like teenage girls trying to sneak into a club with crazy hair extensions, body glitter and far too much makeup. Scary.

5. Some rides are totally worth a long wait in line. Those rides would include: Toy Story Mania, Space Mountain, Expedition Everest and Splash Mountain. Rides not included in that category would be: Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan. The two latter rides always seemed to have 45 minutes waits and for the life of me, I can’t understand why.

6. Apparently the phrase “excuse me,” means something different to different people you will meet while in the Magic Kingdom. I say this because after very politely saying, “excuse me”, I got verbally accosted. Once by a man who told me that I could wait for his wife to fix her hair because I would wait 20 minutes in line for a ride so I should be able to wait for his wife. Uh, ok. Then I said that seemingly innocuous phrase to another woman who then screamed it back at me. Apparently just pushing past people may be the more polite thing to do.

7. Again, Disney is the most magical place on earth! But I have to say, going with my parents, sister, brother-in-law and daughter was really what made it such a magical trip! They made it perfect and gave me memories that I will treasure always.

Remembering 9/11

I hate to admit when I am wrong, but I’m going to do it publicly right now. Several afternoons ago, I was complaining to my mom about why our troops are still in the Middle East, why they haven’t been brought back yet, because really, what were we accomplishing anymore?

And then a few days later came the news of Osama bin Laden’s death. I really didn’t believe that we would ever see this day. As someone who was in New York City on September 11, 2001, I was hoping we would, but didn’t think it was really possible.

I can still remember that entire day so vividly, as I’m sure most of us do. I think about it every time someone mentions New York City. I was only there for 2 weeks before the attacks took place and I was not wild about living there. But I will always feel a connection to that city and to the people that I spent that day with. It’s impossible to explain how it felt to watch out of a window as the second plane came flying in and watching the towers fall. They are the same images that we all have seen hundreds of times, only instead of being framed by a TV screen, mine are framed by my Brooklyn apartment window.

That day changed my life in ways that I am not fully realizing until now. I know that my life would be incredibly different if I had stayed in New York. But, I fully believe, and always have, that everything happens for a reason. Sitting in church this weekend, that belief was strengthened.

A young man who was just graduating from college gave the homily and I have to say, it was one of the best homilies that I have ever heard. He spoke about God having a plan for all of us, even if we aren’t aware of it. He is always there, guiding us and helping us in ways we may not expect.

I know that I ask God often for more patience with my precocious little girl (and I still need a lot of it!), hoping somehow that she’ll settle down a little bit. And then I realize, she is God’s way of giving me more patience. I need to learn how to be more patience and by being her mom, that’s how I’m going to do it. Of course, it’s not that simple, but nothing that’s worth achieving usually is. And I certainly don’t want to change her outgoing personality. So, to me, that’s God’s answer to my request.

I’m not sure what God’s plan was for Osama bin Laden and why it took us so long to find him. But I am so thankful for the troops who have spent the past ten years searching for him, not giving up on finding him the way the rest of us may have. They have all been fighting a war I know that I would never be brave enough to fight.  So, thank you to all of the troops. I hope they feel some vindication now for all of the sacrifices they have had to make.  

What others think...

There was a time in my life when I cared a considerable amount about what people thought about me. I often let that concern take over my life and the decisions I made, whether or not it made me happy or not. There always seemed a little voice in the back of my head that asked, “What would so and so think about this?”

Maybe I’ve learned over the years that you can’t worry about what other people think, that you can’t please everyone. But I’d like to believe that it’s because I’m now accepting of who I am. In fact, I really like who I am and to admit that is a huge step for me.

Getting to this point was not easy. I know counseling helped a lot but I’ve also done a lot of self reflection and I’ve realized that when it comes to what others think about me, I can’t worry about it. At least not in the ways I used to.

People’s reaction to my engagement made me think about this and just how much my mindset has changed. I knew there would be people who thought it would be too soon. Those people are welcome to their opinion but they are wrong. I know that if that’s how they feel, then they don’t know me, Chris and our relationship.

So, I chose not to focus on those people. Instead, I’m celebrating with my family and friends who know how happy I am and how right all of this is. That’s what I focus on. That’s what I care about.

I’m 32 years old and finally ready to make decisions about myself, for myself without worrying who I am offending and who I am pleasing. And if someone doesn’t like it, it’s ok with me. I’m not worrying about it.

Single mother no more!

So…I got engaged this past weekend! And since then, I’ve been trying to decide what to write about. I wish I could share more of the details of my engagement…but I really don’t remember much of what happened! I attribute that to shock. We had talked about it and when we did talk about it, I was under the wrong impression that he was going to wait until later this summer. Surprise! I wasn’t convinced what was actually going on until I saw the ring, despite the fact that he was down on one knee and clearly emotional. All I know is, I am the luckiest girl in the entire world. I couldn’t be happier and hope that everyone has or will find the same happiness that I’ve found. I love you Chris and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you!

Of course, being newly engaged, I’ve already purchased several bridal magazines and signed up for the Knot. And looking at all things wedding, my mind is reminded of one thing over and over…it’s diet time!

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I try my best to work out on a daily basis and eat well for the most part. But now, it’s game time! I’ve always struggled with my weight my entire life and have tried practically every possible diet and workout fad that has existed. And most don’t work. At least not in the long term.

So, this makes me think, what to do? I’ve had success with the Firm and P90X in the past, I love yoga and walking but lately, I’m stuck. And right now is not the time I want to be stuck! So, I’m starting a new workout regimen – Tracy Anderson’s 30-Day Method – and we will see how that goes.

Regardless of whether I lose another pound or not though, I do know that my future husband loves me for me. And above all else, that’s what matters the most.

A Blue and Gold Weekend

You know you are a die hard football fan when you sit for two hours in a cold, constant drizzle to watch a team’s spring game. And that’s just what I did last weekend along with 28,000 other crazies.

My mom, dad and I headed to South Bend, Indiana, which I consider to be one of the best places on earth. For those who don’t know, it’s the home of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and a second home to me. I not only spent most falls of my childhood there, but also four years of college at Saint Mary’s, the (in my humble opinion) better school. Either way, there is nothing quite as magical to me as a football weekend in the Bend.

Spring game or not, it was fun to see the Irish back on the field and gave me something to hold over my impatience for the college football season to start. Fall can’t come soon enough for me!

After the game, we went to mass at the Basilica, which is one of the most beautiful churches in the world. And I’ve been to Rome, where there are more beautiful churches in a square mile than anywhere else. Sitting there, staring at the amazing arched ceiling, I was flooded with so many wonderful memories.

I thought about my mom telling me how when I was little, I said I wanted to go to Notre Dame, not Saint Mary’s and when she asked why, I said, “Because there’s boys here.”

I thought about my sister when we were kids and walking around with handmade signs that shouted in brightly colored marker “I need a ticket.”

I thought about my time as a football manager and how awesome it was to work at football practices, buff helmets before they were painted, get the locker room ready before game days, and getting to touch the Play Like A Champion Today sign.

I thought about how I met two of my best friends in the world at SMC and found another who had been in my life for a long time, my sister, that I didn’t fully appreciate until we shared a year in South Bend together.

I thought about how just seeing the Golden Dome makes me think of my parents and where they met and how glad I am that they did.

And most of all, I think of how there are so few things that can replace the feeling I have of being in South Bend on a football weekend, with my family and friends. Whether the team wins or loses, I’ll always have that. Even though I’d much prefer we win! Go Irish!

Happiness is...

Making the decision to get divorced was not easy. Duh. I knew for a long time that the relationship was not healthy and going nowhere, for years probably. But it took me a long time to finally make that final step because I was scared. Scared because I had been out of the work force for so long and knew that I would need to find a job to support Peyton and I. Scared because I think there’s a certain stigma still with being divorced and I was worried at how people would react and if they’d treat me the same. Scared because I thought I might never find anyone who would want to date me, being a single mom. I mean, I’m a handle full on my own, but adding a kid and an ex that will always be in my life – that’s a lot to ask of another person to take one.

I soon realized that being miserable trumped being scared. So I took gave him the papers and the process began. It was actually pretty painless for me. It might sound callous of me, but I never shed a tear over the end of my marriage. By that time, I knew I was making the right decision. And the things I was scared of soon melted away – even if they didn’t go away.

I still needed to find a job – still do. But I’ve dealt with that fear by realizing that I can only do what I can do. I just keep plugging away on the job hunt and know that the right thing will come along eventually.

As far as how people were going to treat me after I got the divorce, I realized that wasn’t my problem, but theirs. If someone really cared about me, they saw how much happier I was, how much healthier it was for everyone involved and supported me. There are those who don’t and maybe they just don’t understand just how bad things were. I was embarrassed for a long time to admit just how bad they were, so I think some people just don’t get why it didn’t work out. Regardless, divorce is the kind of event that helps you know who really wants to be in your life and who it might not matter as much to.

And finally, as scared as I was that I wasn’t going to meet someone, I wasn’t so scared that I went looking for love with some kind of desperation.  I figured I’d be single for a little while and then maybe try to meet someone. Try online dating, something like that. But, it didn’t happen that way.

Somehow, I found someone who not only accepted me with all of my flaws and difficulties, but embraced my life and the difficulties in that as well. I’ve tried as many ways as I can think of to try to scare him off, to show him how difficult my life can be sometimes, but he clearly doesn’t scare easily. Not at all actually. I feel so blessed every day to have him in my life. I could go on forever about him and how great he is, but I don’t want to nauseate anyone. :)

It’s funny to me now how happy everyone tells me I am. It makes me think I was a miserable mess before. And I realize I was. But not anymore. And not ever again. I realize that divorce doesn’t work out the best for everyone, but I don’t believe in being miserable in a relationship. It does no one any good and life is far to short. And in that short time, you should be as happy as possible. And right now, I’m happier than I ever dreamed I’d be.

MMMM Meat...or Not

Anyone who knows me knows that I love TV. Love it. In fact, my TV viewing and setting up my DVR for my weekly recordings is like a science for me. I set up my recordings a week ahead of time, not trusting the DVR to tape new episodes as it promises me it will. I trust myself to make sure I don’t miss a show. Because who knows what would happen if I missed an episode of the Real Housewives of New York.

While watching one of the shows I taped this week, Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, I was struck by how one of my more recent life changes was definitely the right one. I stopped eating any kind of chicken, beef, or pork almost a year and a half ago. Yes, I’m the bad word – vegetarian. Well, mostly anyway. I still eat fish and seafood, so I guess I’m technically a pescatarian?

Anyway, every once in awhile, I forget just why I gave up eating meat in the first place, my mind slipping into the deep dark world of the McDonald’s double cheeseburger or a hot dog from Notre Dame stadium or plain old greasy bacon. Several times, always after having a couple beers, I try to con someone into getting me some meat product that I wouldn’t eat otherwise. Don’t drink and eat. Luckily, everyone tells me no, even if it gets them in trouble. I went to the roller derby with my boyfriend recently and practically begged for a double cheeseburger on the way home. (Yes, beer was involved). He said no and then got a hard time the next day for it.

Well, Food Revolution gave my brain that little nudge that reminded me why it is that I’m abstaining from meat. Oliver showed exactly where they get part of the meat from that goes into kids school lunches and what they do to it to make it edible. I won’t go into details here. No need to gross out the meat eaters out there. But I love what his show is doing. Educating those who want to be educated (and even those who don’t) about good nutrition and exactly how to achieve it.

And if you want to educate yourself more, I highly suggest reading Eating Animals by Johnathan Safran Foer. It’s a very unbiased look at where food comes from and why it’s so important to know where the food your eating actually is coming from, especially the meat you eat. Neither Oliver or Safran Foer are advocating vegetarianism, just eating smart and healthy.

So, while my decision for not eating meat has been reinforced, I’m sure there will be a time again when I drive by a McDonald’s and beg for one of those delicious burgers, with those tiny onions and fluffy buns. But, I’ll keep resisting, reminding myself just why I chose not to do it in the first place. My love for animals far outweighs my love for eating them. 

Introducing Me

“Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world/ I want to be the one to walk in the sun/ Oh girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun.” – Cyndi Lauper

I know what you’re thinking…the world doesn’t need another blog. And you’re probably right. But I’m going to write one anyway! As a recently divorced, single mom who is currently unemployed, I’ve got a TON to say and unloading it all out onto the World Wide Web just seems like a good idea.

While my description of myself may seem like I’ve got lots to complain about and will probably turn this blog into a whiny pity party, believe me, I won’t. I’m actually far more optimistic and happy then I ever thought I’d be in my current position.

I would say the worst part is being unemployed, but to be honest, I would be lying. I realized today all of the things I can accomplish while my daughter, Peyton, is at preschool. I cleaned the entire house top to bottom, did my P90X workout, took my adorable dog Maggie for a two-mile walk, watched Bethenny Ever After and even had time to shop at Target. And if I were working, I would never have had the time to do all of those things in a week, let alone a morning and afternoon. Don’t get me wrong – I need a job! But, I’m going to appreciate the time while I have it!

Being divorced isn’t so bad either, other than the fact that I still have to see my ex on a regular basis. Good for Peyton, bad for me. Of course, I’ll never let her know what I really think about her dad. Besides, if I did, she’d just yell at me and tell me that I’m using bad words. Not that I’m not ever tempted. Especially when he does something stupid. Which is often.

Being a single mom is good or bad, depending on the day. Being a mom is always great and a job that I cherish. I love that I get so much time with Peyton, just the two of us. We’ve got a really special bond and I am thankful for that every day. Then there are the times when she tries to flex her little four-year-old independence. It’s not always easy to be the only disciplinarian, care taker, entertainer and teacher. Thankfully, I’ve got a great support system or I might just lose my mind.

Which brings me to the Cyndi Lauper quote and my starting the blog with it. I heard the song not to long ago and those lines resonated with me. For so long, I felt so trapped in my life. I feel like I can walk in the sun again finally. And I plan on having lots of fun. Because I’m a girl that’s what we wanna do!